Having Trouble Writing an Artist Statement?

How many times have I racked my brain trying to think of the appropriate psycho-babble to impress the pseudo  intellectuals who come into a gallery and ponder my uber intuitive metal musings?

OK enough of this.  You know I don’t talk like this, and once I was intimidated that I couldn’t come up with the jibberish which my professors considered to be the true mark of the artist—the artist statement.   My classic “It’s the stuff I make.  I like it.”  never got me an “A.”

Well, fret no more.  Check out         http://www.playdamage.org/market-o-matic/ for help in constructing what will be the most classic artist statement you could ever concoct.   Let’s face it, as a jeweler, I can name 2 or 3 people who are actually pompous enough to talk like this, and even worse, write like this.  And I always felt so stupid.

I hope this makes you smile, I think it’s a real hoot~  Enjoy, and happy creating-



4 Responses

  1. Oh, yeah! It’s a hoot alright! And, you’re right, Lexi, it is a brain racker to come up with some kind of kind of hifalutin gobbly gook that sounds so esoteric or arcane thats makes people believe you are some artistic god-like person who is doing a customer/viewer an enormous favor in allowing them to even look at your …….. STUFF!

    Here, for your and other’s pleasure is a description which I wrote for one of my pieces, The Koi Pool.

    An unusually patterened rhodonite focal bead evokes a vision of a peaceful pool dotted with lotus blooms where koi mysteriously appear and disappear in the dark water.

    It took about six or seven rewrites for me to come up with that fairly tame description. I jus’ an ol’ country boy and rhodomontade is not my forte. Haw, haw. John

    • John, your statement is really beautiful, and easy to understand, and evokes a some beautiful imagery. You have a great sense of humor. I struggle over what I’m going to write, too. It took me forever to do something for my webpage! Yet, when I write for Lapidary Journal, it comes out just like I talk in class. The flowery stuff is what boggles my mind!

  2. Thanks Lexi! This made me laugh, for sure. Then I read it again, and started to pick out things I could use – it must be finals time!
    I appreciate the comedy break, and love your posts. I look forward to hearing more.,..

    • Good luck on the finals, Marnie, and thanks for the comment. Marnie has a mention in this month’s issue of 5280, the top Denver living magazine. Way to go,girl! The photo is a lovely pendant with mountains in the background. (and where did that inspiration come from, we all wonder?) You make beautiful jewelry, and I look forward to seeing more.

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